Friday, November 11, 2011

the fork in my road

It’s probably obvious by the way that I haven’t been doing any blogging that NaNo isn’t going very well. (I suppose the alternative explanation would be that I’m doing so well I don’t even have time to think about blogging but that, sadly, isn’t the case.)

I’ve been trying to discern why. In 2008, I wrote my first NaNo novel. In 2009, I wrote my second with no more difficulty than I’d written my first. In 2010, I struggled and eventually quit. This year, I’m feeling about the same as I did last year. Why? 

I was reading [this blog] (recommended by @ashetler) and it resonated with me in a way that I’m loathe to admit because I’m such a NaNo cheerleader. After reading the blog and some of the comments, I had a lightbulb moment.

I love the book I wrote in 2009 about an amnesiac vampire trying to make her way and discover who she is. It’s the reason I quit last year’s NaNo. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jane and Wes and how I could make their story better. I’m running into the same wall this year. 

I have a lot of issues as a writer. I’m not consistent in my writing schedule. I’m not patient or diligent. I write in fits and spurts and I’m almost as terrible at revising and editing as I am at writing titles. I consider NaNo09 to still be in its infancy. But I believe in it. So much so that it’s difficult to purposefully put it aside to write something else that I don’t believe in nearly as much (or at all, as the case is this year). I thought I had my novel mapped out for this year. I thought I was ahead of the curve. 

I was wrong.

Now I see that I have three options.

1.       Forge ahead with my directionless and plotless YA novel in the name of doing NaNo since it’s practically mid-month and I’d be insane to try to start over at this point.
2.       Write a spin-off of my much loved NaNo09 novel, using the sub plots and back story that have been percolating in my brain for two years.
3.       Give up again this year, in the name of focusing on NaNo09 (and most likely end up deeply involved with the Ghost Whisperer or something stupid like that on Netflix)

After a lot of thinking, I’m choosing #2. Insane or not. 

So wish me luck, because my word count is now a big fat zero.

Edit: Since drafting this, my word count has actually reached 2,302 which is a far cry from the 22,000 I should have by the end of this weekend but it is better than zero! And I AM going to finish this year.

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